I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Randomize
