return my video game
cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
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