I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
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