first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Randomize
