guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
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