I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Randomize
