The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Randomize
