i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Randomize
