I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
How's work?
Spinning.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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