My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
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