So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
