A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
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