well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
Randomize
