Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
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