Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
I just found a bag of teeth...
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Randomize
