I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
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