Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Randomize
