You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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