Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
My ass is underappreciated
Come share oat with me in your robe
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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