Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
