her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
Randomize
