This girl is more easily done than said...
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
