Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
