What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
I want to walk on stilts...naked
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
