Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
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