are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
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