ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Randomize
