just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
being pregnant is like rehab
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Randomize
