bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
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