I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
