i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
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