Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
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