Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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