Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize