I like to think it a success when the cops are called
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Randomize
