Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
