Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
I'm both gender and math confused
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
Randomize
