I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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