exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
Randomize
