This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
