Christians are straight up FREAKS
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
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