hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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