im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Randomize
