id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
