nut hugger
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
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