Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
