Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Randomize
