Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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