arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
