she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
OPIZZABONMYDICK
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
Two words: blizzard sex
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
how does that bad decision feel?
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
