It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
