i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Randomize
