Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
