fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Randomize