Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
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