Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
Randomize
