i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
